The next phase

I've experienced a wide range of emotions throughout my pregnancy. I hate to admit that the dominant feeling I have had when I think about our future and how much it is going to change could best be described as fearful joy. I was happy and feeling blessed but also worried about all kinds of things (Am I going to be a good mom? How much is labor going to hurt? Is the baby going to be healthy? How will parenthood change us?)  The last few weeks in particular have been filled with everything from pure excitement to anxiety about all that still needs to be done to a peaceful acceptance that we are as prepared as we can be. Then I may have cycled through some of those more than once. :-) 

Since I finished working a week and a half ago, I have been trying really hard to keep myself mentally busy. I didn't want to focus on the unlikely chance that I might actually go into labor before I was induced. The first few days were packed with checking items off my to-do list. Then I developed debilitating carpal tunnel in my hands and wrists last week. It knocked me on my behind and forced me to slow down. My mom came up to help me with everything from getting myself dressed to doing the dishes. Thankfully the carpal tunnel slowly got better and I've had a couple of good days....but that also means I've had a couple of busy days checking things off the list and generally keeping myself occupied.  

Then all of the sudden, a few hours ago, I realized that TONIGHT IS OUR LAST NIGHT AT HOME alone, just the two of us. Tomorrow, we'll be at the hospital by 7:30pm and the induction will start on Thursday. The first thing I did after coming to this realization was get home and check some more things off the list.... finished cleaning the linen closet, opened and washed some baby stuff, posted on the blog, etc.   Then as I was typing away, I realized that this is not "it" for us. This is the beginning of the next beautiful phase of our lives. 

So I don't have any idea what God has in store for us over the next few days (or weeks, or months, or years for that matter,) but I know that I cannot wait.I cannot wait to meet the little man that has been spent the last 9 months in my belly rolling around, hiccuping, kicking me and developing into a full grown baby. I cannot wait to see Kevin become a father. He is going to be an amazing dad and he will be my rock. I cannot wait to see the looks on our families' faces when they meet him. On a lighter note, I can't wait to have some Arby's, Smoothie King, Pizza Hut and all the other things (trust me, it's a long list) that the gestational diabetes has prevented me from indulging in. :-)

I'm still a little worried, especially for the health of Baby C, but I know we're going to be okay as long as we remember who's in charge. 

From what I hear, worrying is just a part of parenthood anyway, right?